Instead of taking you through the scriptures and sharing what I've been learning like I normally do, I've decided to go ahead and write about why I believe what I believe, and how I got there. I feel like I need to write this because most of the blogs I write are about God and I want you all to understand why I write about Him so much and the reasons why God means so much to me. So I guess I'll just get to it.
As a child I grew up in quite the home. Like most families, we carry a lot of baggage. I'm going to spare you all most of my family details because my goal right now isn't to get into that. I think I'll start in my high school days and go from there. Throughout my life, relating to people has always been a struggle for me. At home, I never really spoke unless I was spoken to, so making new friends wasn't that easy. I love people, but I just don't know how to relate to them most times. I've struggled with loneliness for as long as I can remember. I think because of some past childhood experiences, I had shut down and never really recovered from that. So once high school started, I constantly felt like I was on my own. Most days, it wasn't so bad because I live in my head and my thoughts normally keep me occupied. I also read a lot of books to give me something to do. Now, I'm not saying I didn't have friends...there have always been people surrounding me. But call me generic or whatever, I've always felt like that person who feels alone in a crowded place. So eventually, I started seeking something more. At the start of freshmen year, I found drugs. The drugs brought me a whole new set of friends, as well as this sudden burst of confidence that made me feel like I could conquer the world. I started to hang out with people more, and become this whole new person. And I loved it. I felt like I had gained respect from people. As the years went on, I jumped further and further into the drugs and found myself using everyday, all day. I became very unhappy when I wasn't using and that made me use even more. Lets just say it got out of control. I also started to feel like I needed the drugs to eat, sleep, and basically function properly. The thoughts that once comforted me, started to really effect me negatively because the drugs altered them. Then around my junior year, the drugs suddenly weren't enough. I felt like I needed some real substance to my life and I started to feel like there was something else out there...something bigger than myself, but I couldn't pinpoint it. I just knew it was big. Eventually, I found philosophy...or rather philosophy found me.
Let's back up really fast to the lunchroom my sophomore year. At my old high school, teachers patrolled the lunchrooms to keep the peace and make sure students weren't being too rambunctious. One day, one of the teachers in the lunchroom overheard someone addressing me by the name "Giese" When he heard that he came and introduced himself. He told me he had my brother in his class a few years back. I learned that he was an English teacher and taught the class I had planned on taking. I also noticed the way he interacted with students. He seemed to genuinely care about people and love them. I have always been drawn to those kind of people, so that confirmed my decision to take his class. I don't remember too much about that class, but I really liked the teacher and decided to take the philosophy class he also taught. I had no clue that class would change my life. Philosophy was exactly what I was looking for. It was deep and made me want to study more and more of it. I even studied it on my own time and eventually got to a point that I could hold my own in a debate. Not only that, because a lot of philosophy is about explaining who we are and how we came to be, I was able to relate it to other subjects...especially Science. Our teacher loved to bash science, so one day we got into a discussion about the Big Bang Theory. We talked about it's faults in explaining creationism to us and the question was posed, "What put those two atoms into motion?" That question blew my mind. Science can't explain how those two atoms were able to collide. Simply put, the laws of science tell us there has to be an energy source for kinetic energy to even happen. Since science can't tell me how that happened to make it possible for those atoms to move, I took it upon myself to find out why. I HAD to know why. I came to the conclusion that something bigger had to make that happen.
As I started to study more, I began asking my teacher questions about God. I found out he sponsored a bible study every Friday morning that was lead by Young Life and he invited me to come check it out. (For the record, I am really thankful that he was willing to discuss God with me because the law says teachers can't really talk about God with students.) Now, I have grown up in the church my entire life so I was already pretty familiar with the bible. I just never really took it, or religion and God to seriously. But now I had a reason too...I HAD to find out the truth and why science couldn't tell me how I got here even though it claims be to able to prove basically everything. My teacher invited me to the church he goes to and I went...once. The group of friends I had weren't interested in God, and lets be honest I wasn't either. I just wanted to know how I got here and WHY I was here. I was also still way more interested in drugs than being religious. I was under the impression you couldn't have drugs and religion, so I chose drugs instead. Because of that choice, I distanced myself from the church and just studied on my own time. I still went to the bible study every Friday morning, and even some other bible studies, but just to ask questions and challenge people. Even though I wasn't really interested in the religion, I was learning a great deal and it was very interesting and made me want to study more. To not make this too long, I will try and sum up what I learned as the years have passed since that first philosophy class.
As I thought about it a lot, I came to the conclusion that if science couldn't tell me how I got here, then something bigger had to exist. I was determined to find out what, and through my studies, the bible seemed to hold the most logical answer. It explained that God created us, and he did it out of love. As I thought about that more it made complete sense. Sorry if this next part is hard to follow, but it makes perfect sense to me, and I hope it does to you as well. Every human being is able to feel love...and does. If every one of us is able to feel love, then love has to be significant. And since love is not a tangible thing, there is no possible way science would even be able to touch that. So if love didn't come from the earth, then something had to "create" love. Love would also not exist if we didn't exist, because love is unique to our species. You could argue that animals feel love like we do, but animals also kill their young to survive and would leave another one of the same species in a heartbeat if in danger. Humans don't do that. Since no one can explain how "love" came to be, then something else must be able to. Another thing that struck me about science is that it can't explain how life started. Again, if you can't explain how the Big Bang Theory started, then you certainly can't tell me you know how we came to be. Most of us are aware that the body itself is just flesh, organs, and the rest of what goes in there. But none of what's in the body can explain how that happened in the first place. But the bible sure can. And I believe the bible can because the earth exists. If that blasted theory can't explain logically how the earth came to be, then something bigger must have created it. Now, if something bigger created the earth, then it would definitely be possible for that same something to create something as complex as the human body. And since I do believe that it was God that created the body and human life, I also believe that this being can do ANYTHING. So fast forward to Jesus' time. Assuming everything I just said above is correct, then wouldn't it be possible for God to come down in human form? I mean, he did create us after all. So if it is possible for Him to come down in human form, then is it not also possible for Him to die and then come back from the dead?? I think it is. If that's possible, then why wouldn't God be able to come inside of us in a different form...the Holy Spirit. I think this is important because every person at one time or another has thought about something bigger than themselves existing. Religion was there before Jesus' came, so that means even back then people were searching for an answer. I feel like the fact that a man came down, died, and then rose again...and had witnesses, would be total proof of God himself existing. And the fact that more than one religious book speaks about Jesus and the miracles he preformed...miracles that science can't explain, is added proof of his validity as our creator. And the unique thing about Christianity is that we don't have to DO anything to gain the love of our creator...we just have to accept he created us and died in human form for us and our sin. Which brings me back to love. Love ties everything together, because God created us out of love, gave us the ability to love, died to prove ultimately love exists, and then gave us that love back in the form of the Holy Spirit so we can experience it today, even after the death of Jesus Christ. Even if your not a Christian, you still exist somehow. If all that happened, which I believe it did because we are here today, then I also think it is possible to live and be able to rely on my creator. The fact that I am alive is proof to me that God exists. And again sorry to repeat myself, but if I exist then that means that God must have created me...which means he created you, and everything else that we experience. And since I can't deny that I exist, then God must. If he exists then he also made it possible to feel and think and do everything else we humans can do. And since we live on the earth that must mean he created that to because we breath the air and live on such a complex planet that allows us to sustain life. And again, because the Big Bang Theory can't explain how that came to be, then Gd must have done that too. Pretty cool, huh?
Because of all of that I think that it is important to live and love for my creator. Why would I not...I mean He is the one that allows me to be here and love in the first place. And because when a loved one dies the only thing that is left here on Earth for us is the memories and the love we still hold for that person, I think loving others is important. Realistically, even if you live your life as a loving person but never accepted God as your savior and creator, you still lived and loved which means without knowing it, you accepted that God exists because love does. The cool thing about God is that he gives EVERYONE a chance to love him...even after death!! So I guess there you have it. This is why I believe what I do and how I got there.
Since then I have gotten rid of the drug use in my life and have fully devoted my life to living for the God that created me! The road is not easy, but then again life isn't supposed to be easy. Living for God gives me purpose though and I think that counts for something.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Monday, February 7, 2011
Fear: Friend or Foe?
In John Mayer's song, "The Heart of Life" he says, "Fear is a friend who's misunderstood. But I know the heart of life is good." (go listen to it. seriously.) Now, I'm no expert, and certainly not the best interpreter of songs and poems, but to me this song has a very biblical message. When I listen to this song, the "heart of life" is referring to God. Which got me to thinking more about the line "Fear is a friend who's misunderstood", and who we should be living for.
Most people don't think fear is a good thing. I'd like to think differently. The bible talks a lot about fearing both man and God. Fear of man consists of things like peer pressure, co-dependency, jealousy, or trying to please people. On the other hand, the fear of God is simply understanding and being aware of His approval or disapproval. So who should we be afraid of? The bible says we should fear God. Proverbs 29:25 says, "Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe." If you walk around worrying about what the guy next to you thinks, then realistically your heart isn't following God. Instead, you are trying to please man. But pleasing man isn't always a good thing. Yes it's nice to do the dishes for your parents or offer to help someone across the street, but on a deeper level we should be thinking about the reason why we are offering our services. Is it because you want praise from your parents or to win an award? If it is, then your motives are wrong. God wants our actions to glorify Him, not the people in your life. John 12:42-43 says, "Yet at the same time many even among the leaders believed in him. But because of the Pharisees they would not confess their faith for fear they would be put out of the synagogue; for they loved praise from men more than praise from God."
It's so easy to want to please the people around us because God isn't there to give his approval. Not only that, the feeling of rejection hurts. A lot of people want the Christian status, but don't have a desire to live it out because that means being different and living different. Sometimes the only time we are able to tell someone is even a Christian is because we see them in a church. The problem is, a lot of us forget that Jesus lives in us. That means everything we do should be for Him...not just everything we do on Sunday. If you live one way on Sunday, and then the rest of the week you live how you want, it won't go unnoticed by the people around you. That has huge potential to bring people away from the real gospel. Galatians 2:11-21 addresses this issue. Peter, a follower of Jesus and a teacher in the Church, acted like a hypocrite in front of Paul and James out of fear of what they, as well as the others around, might think of him. When Paul witnessed this, he called him out in front of everyone then and there. Honestly, it's rather encouraging to read about this event. It shows us that even Christians get caught in the trap of fearing men. It also shows us that it is important to speak up if you witness this occurring. Had Paul not spoken up, people would have been led astray. Galatians 2:20-21 tell us this, "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!" The world around us influences us so much. But putting your faith and trust in God, not men, will prove to be worth it in the end. Honestly if you have no desire to live like Christ after accepting him as your savior, then accepting him in the first place was useless. God calls us to live a certain way. It may be hard, but nothing worth it is easy.
In my own life this is a constant struggle. A lot of my friends are not Christians. When I go to hang out with them, it's really hard to not engage in the activities they are doing. About a week ago, I made the decision to separate myself for good from these activities and it has been SO hard! I don't want my friends to think I am weird or to uptight for them. I also don't like it when they tell me "it's no big deal, you can still love God and do it." What they don't understand is that it's not that easy. Every time I hung out and gave in, I walked away feeling ashamed. Ashamed at myself for giving in, and most of all ashamed at what God thought of me. I thought that he couldn't possibly love me because I was intentionally sinning. I felt absolutely awful that I had told my friends about God and my reasons for quiting, and then went and did it anyways. What would God think? And then the feelings of guilt and shame set in. This "feeling" is the fear of God. I became very aware of what was right and what was wrong in His eyes. And to my surprise, my desire to quit became so much stronger. Not because of what my friends thought, but because I didn't want to disappoint God any longer. I won't sit here and tell you that I don't think about giving in every day, but I will say that the feeling I get when I do give in is one of the most awful feelings in the world! The fear of God is what should drive me, not the fear of man. I feel like learning this the hard way is making my faith in God much stronger. I'm being forced to rely on Him in literally every situation so I don't make the decision I want to make. As I continue to learn more about fearing God, it is becoming evident that in order to escape fear, you need to learn how to fear. Getting through life is going to seem a lot harder than it should if man is holding you back. God wants to lead you. I feel like learning how to fear God is a great place to start!
Most people don't think fear is a good thing. I'd like to think differently. The bible talks a lot about fearing both man and God. Fear of man consists of things like peer pressure, co-dependency, jealousy, or trying to please people. On the other hand, the fear of God is simply understanding and being aware of His approval or disapproval. So who should we be afraid of? The bible says we should fear God. Proverbs 29:25 says, "Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe." If you walk around worrying about what the guy next to you thinks, then realistically your heart isn't following God. Instead, you are trying to please man. But pleasing man isn't always a good thing. Yes it's nice to do the dishes for your parents or offer to help someone across the street, but on a deeper level we should be thinking about the reason why we are offering our services. Is it because you want praise from your parents or to win an award? If it is, then your motives are wrong. God wants our actions to glorify Him, not the people in your life. John 12:42-43 says, "Yet at the same time many even among the leaders believed in him. But because of the Pharisees they would not confess their faith for fear they would be put out of the synagogue; for they loved praise from men more than praise from God."
It's so easy to want to please the people around us because God isn't there to give his approval. Not only that, the feeling of rejection hurts. A lot of people want the Christian status, but don't have a desire to live it out because that means being different and living different. Sometimes the only time we are able to tell someone is even a Christian is because we see them in a church. The problem is, a lot of us forget that Jesus lives in us. That means everything we do should be for Him...not just everything we do on Sunday. If you live one way on Sunday, and then the rest of the week you live how you want, it won't go unnoticed by the people around you. That has huge potential to bring people away from the real gospel. Galatians 2:11-21 addresses this issue. Peter, a follower of Jesus and a teacher in the Church, acted like a hypocrite in front of Paul and James out of fear of what they, as well as the others around, might think of him. When Paul witnessed this, he called him out in front of everyone then and there. Honestly, it's rather encouraging to read about this event. It shows us that even Christians get caught in the trap of fearing men. It also shows us that it is important to speak up if you witness this occurring. Had Paul not spoken up, people would have been led astray. Galatians 2:20-21 tell us this, "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!" The world around us influences us so much. But putting your faith and trust in God, not men, will prove to be worth it in the end. Honestly if you have no desire to live like Christ after accepting him as your savior, then accepting him in the first place was useless. God calls us to live a certain way. It may be hard, but nothing worth it is easy.
In my own life this is a constant struggle. A lot of my friends are not Christians. When I go to hang out with them, it's really hard to not engage in the activities they are doing. About a week ago, I made the decision to separate myself for good from these activities and it has been SO hard! I don't want my friends to think I am weird or to uptight for them. I also don't like it when they tell me "it's no big deal, you can still love God and do it." What they don't understand is that it's not that easy. Every time I hung out and gave in, I walked away feeling ashamed. Ashamed at myself for giving in, and most of all ashamed at what God thought of me. I thought that he couldn't possibly love me because I was intentionally sinning. I felt absolutely awful that I had told my friends about God and my reasons for quiting, and then went and did it anyways. What would God think? And then the feelings of guilt and shame set in. This "feeling" is the fear of God. I became very aware of what was right and what was wrong in His eyes. And to my surprise, my desire to quit became so much stronger. Not because of what my friends thought, but because I didn't want to disappoint God any longer. I won't sit here and tell you that I don't think about giving in every day, but I will say that the feeling I get when I do give in is one of the most awful feelings in the world! The fear of God is what should drive me, not the fear of man. I feel like learning this the hard way is making my faith in God much stronger. I'm being forced to rely on Him in literally every situation so I don't make the decision I want to make. As I continue to learn more about fearing God, it is becoming evident that in order to escape fear, you need to learn how to fear. Getting through life is going to seem a lot harder than it should if man is holding you back. God wants to lead you. I feel like learning how to fear God is a great place to start!
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Thank God for boredom
With the recent snowfall, I've been reminded of a lot of things. The first thing I've been reminded of is how much I hate the snow. I know most people have a dislike for snow, but for me, nothing is the world is more obnoxious than snow...except for spiders and people who can't seem to be honest and straight forward with other people. The snow is cold, dangerous, and to be honest not that pretty. On a side note, I will go on a limb and say that ice covered trees are so freaking beautiful. (maybe one of the only things kind of cool about the cold?) But honestly, the thing I hate the most about the snow, is that every year it has potential to ruin so many lives. As the daughter of a dad who has to go plow this crap...I'm one of those potential people. Every inch has potential to wreck a lot of beautiful things. Homeless people are also on my heart in times like this. My hope is that Christians and kind-hearted people around every community effected by snow would do everything they can to help those in need of some heat. So far it's been really awesome reading posts of people helping others, as well as watching my neighbors step up to help each other shovel their drives. At risk of contradicting everything I've said above, I'm pretty happy that snow has potential to bring people together.
Another thing the snow has reminded me of, is how much I hate being bored. ...it's awesome. But seriously, being stuck inside (because my front door won't open, and even if it did there is still foot after foot of snow to get through to go anywhere...not worth it) has been so annoying. Most of you that know me, also know I'm not content sitting still for hours. Thanks to the snow, I've been spending a lot of time sitting still. So far, I can't say I'm to excited about it. My head hasn't stopped racing, and the anxiety levels are creepin. I simply don't know what to do with myself. The computer just isn't that fun, and watching random TV blows. The only good that has come out of me being forced to sit has been the amount of time I've been spending with God. Honestly, as much as I hate sitting, this time has been really good for me. I LOVE studying the bible, so having more time to do that has been awesome. I've been more aware of His presence in me the last day or so. SO freaking comforting. It's been helping me rely on God for substance in my life. So often when I get bored I sleep. But becoming aware of my boredom and giving it to God is totally fulfilling. I can hear him much more clearly in all the silence. Thank God for boredom. :)
Another thing the snow has reminded me of, is how much I hate being bored. ...it's awesome. But seriously, being stuck inside (because my front door won't open, and even if it did there is still foot after foot of snow to get through to go anywhere...not worth it) has been so annoying. Most of you that know me, also know I'm not content sitting still for hours. Thanks to the snow, I've been spending a lot of time sitting still. So far, I can't say I'm to excited about it. My head hasn't stopped racing, and the anxiety levels are creepin. I simply don't know what to do with myself. The computer just isn't that fun, and watching random TV blows. The only good that has come out of me being forced to sit has been the amount of time I've been spending with God. Honestly, as much as I hate sitting, this time has been really good for me. I LOVE studying the bible, so having more time to do that has been awesome. I've been more aware of His presence in me the last day or so. SO freaking comforting. It's been helping me rely on God for substance in my life. So often when I get bored I sleep. But becoming aware of my boredom and giving it to God is totally fulfilling. I can hear him much more clearly in all the silence. Thank God for boredom. :)
Monday, January 31, 2011
A little inspiration goes a long way.
A good friend of mine Travis Deaver, once said something very wise that has stuck with me ever since. He said, "Inspiration comes in the greatest ways, and to be inspired is to see life the way it was meant to be seen, through God's eye." I absolutely agree with him. Inspiration makes us wants to do better. It drives us to be better people and change our character so that others around us will gain something. My favorite thing about inspiration is that it can happen anytime, anywhere. A lot of the times I get frustrated from lack of inspiration in my life. But if what Travis said is correct, then inspiration comes from God. It's like a gift He has given us. As a christian, I believe that the Holy Spirit speaks to me and guides me to be more Christ like. But like all Christians, it's really hard to discern when the Holy Spirit is actually speaking to us. I know I struggle with this constantly. Isn't it possible that inspiration is really the Holy Spirit speaking to you in a way that you can understand?
John 14:16-17 says, "And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to help you and be with you forever— the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you." A friend of mine, who's also a pastor, Tony Calabrese, recently shared something with me about these verses. He said, "What is so cool about Jesus saying that he will send "another" Counselor is found in the original word he uses for "another." The word another DOESNT mean another as in "I'm going to buy another coat" as in a different coat. The word Jesus uses for another means "the exact same kind." Think about that! Jesus essentially is saying that he is going to send another Counselor , one that is JUST LIKE HIM. At this moment He is the Mighty Counselor to His disciples but soon another...just like Jesus type of Counselor , will come into their hearts." Sometimes instead of fighting so hard to find inspiration in my life, I need to simply become aware of God's presence in me. He is ready and willing to lead me. I feel like anything and everything has potential to be inspiring if I let God fully take control of my life.
Lately I've been finding a lot of inspiration in the Bible. For the last few months, every time I have set foot in a church building or bible study, I've walked away inspired. The words of God just move my heart in a way I can't explain to you. My entire body is consumed with this overwhelming feeling of joy and peace and comfort. It's like God is wrapping his arms around me and holding me tightly. When I leave I have an urge to tell the world about Jesus and change everything that is flawed in my life. Obviously, what I want to do and what I actually don't always line up, but the fact that God inspires me to change each week is so encouraging. It's a constant reminder He is always with me in every situation. I also love that God is so consistent. Consistency is something that I value greatly. I hate it when things arn't consistent or when parents or other figures of authority constantly change their minds. God isn't like that at all. All throughout the bible God is consistent. In the Old Testament, God was with Joseph in prison and saw him through that. Great things came out of Joseph being in prison. Years later in the New Testament, Paul writes us the book of Philippians in prison. The purpose of this book was to a) thank the Philippians for the gifts they had sent whilst in prison and b) to give strength to believers and show them that true joy come from Jesus Christ. God was with Paul. He proved to be consistent. And today, God has not changed. He is still there no matter what, fighting to show us how to live for Him. I'm thankful everyday that God is with me ready to send inspiration my way.
John 14:16-17 says, "And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to help you and be with you forever— the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you." A friend of mine, who's also a pastor, Tony Calabrese, recently shared something with me about these verses. He said, "What is so cool about Jesus saying that he will send "another" Counselor is found in the original word he uses for "another." The word another DOESNT mean another as in "I'm going to buy another coat" as in a different coat. The word Jesus uses for another means "the exact same kind." Think about that! Jesus essentially is saying that he is going to send another Counselor , one that is JUST LIKE HIM. At this moment He is the Mighty Counselor to His disciples but soon another...just like Jesus type of Counselor , will come into their hearts." Sometimes instead of fighting so hard to find inspiration in my life, I need to simply become aware of God's presence in me. He is ready and willing to lead me. I feel like anything and everything has potential to be inspiring if I let God fully take control of my life.
Lately I've been finding a lot of inspiration in the Bible. For the last few months, every time I have set foot in a church building or bible study, I've walked away inspired. The words of God just move my heart in a way I can't explain to you. My entire body is consumed with this overwhelming feeling of joy and peace and comfort. It's like God is wrapping his arms around me and holding me tightly. When I leave I have an urge to tell the world about Jesus and change everything that is flawed in my life. Obviously, what I want to do and what I actually don't always line up, but the fact that God inspires me to change each week is so encouraging. It's a constant reminder He is always with me in every situation. I also love that God is so consistent. Consistency is something that I value greatly. I hate it when things arn't consistent or when parents or other figures of authority constantly change their minds. God isn't like that at all. All throughout the bible God is consistent. In the Old Testament, God was with Joseph in prison and saw him through that. Great things came out of Joseph being in prison. Years later in the New Testament, Paul writes us the book of Philippians in prison. The purpose of this book was to a) thank the Philippians for the gifts they had sent whilst in prison and b) to give strength to believers and show them that true joy come from Jesus Christ. God was with Paul. He proved to be consistent. And today, God has not changed. He is still there no matter what, fighting to show us how to live for Him. I'm thankful everyday that God is with me ready to send inspiration my way.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Letting go isn't easy
Learning to let go of things is something I struggle with on a daily basis. Be it an argument or a material possession, letting go is simply tough. It's not easy because most of the time I've worked really hard for it. Other times, whatever needs letting go is close to my heart. Lately though, I've been struggling to let go of myself. Actually ever since I was baptized I've been fighting what seems like a never ending battle. Jesus has called us to let go of ourselves and take up the cross every day. It's easy for me to read that in the bible and want to change, but actually living that out each day is so hard. I've worked my entire life to gain the identity I have today. I've experienced pain and suffering, as well as amazing love and great joy. The friendships formed and the lives that have impacted me mean the world to me. But if I don't let go of myself and give my life completely to Jesus, all of what I've worked for is going to suffer. My ultimate goal in life is to live like Jesus in order to be reunited with Him when I die. But just because I've been baptized doesn't mean I can live my life how I want. I'm learning that the hard way. If that means letting go of old relationships and throwing away items that have potential to lead me astray, then that's what I'll have to do. The great thing about Jesus is that even though letting go is rough, he is going to place other people and opportunities in my life that will lead me to glorify Him. I have to trust Him fully in order to do that though. I pray that God continues to place opportunity in front of me so that my life and heart will align with him. I know it will be hard, and tears will be shed, but I think eternity is worth it.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
A few things I've been learning lately. Enjoy :)
I feel like I'm not alone when I say that I struggle so much with the fact that Jesus is not here in the flesh with me. It's so darn frustrating that I can't give him and hug and have him tell me everything is going to be ok. I long so much to be in the arms of Jesus and walk beside him. I've even gotten angry at God, wondering why I couldn't have lived when Jesus lived? Why couldn't I have lived to reach out and touch him? In the midst of this struggle I've been digging into the bible to help me out. I felt like I should share with all of you a little bit of what I've been learning, in hopes that it might encourage you like it's been encouraging me.
I was recently lead to Acts 17:24-31 while questioning why I couldn't have walked with Jesus. All of the verses really hit me but verses 26-28 really brought it home...especially 26 and 27. "From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. For in him we live and move and have our being. As some of your own poets have said, 'We are his offspring.' This really spoke to me. God put us here in this exact moment because it was the best time for us as individuals to love him to the best of our abilities. If God would have wanted me to live when Jesus walked the earth when his disciples did, he would have put me there. Instead, I am here today, living the life I'm in right now, with the family and friends I have right now, for a reason. It is the best time in God's plan for me to walk the earth. And I need to embrace that with everything I am. After all, Jesus' greatest command was to love him and love others. It's up to me to live that out, and now is the time to do it. My circumstances won't define me any longer. Instead, they will help shape me to become more reliant on my faith in the one who put me here.
The book of John has really been rocking my world as well. Jesus speaks some very powerful words to his disciples in chapters 14-16 as it relates to Jesus not being here in the flesh. Verses 1-3 say this, "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house there are many rooms; if it were not so, I would not have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you may also be where I am." As Jesus tells his disciples that when he leaves them he will prepare a place for them, they become confused. They think they need him there to find the way to God. But Jesus is telling them, that he is the way to God, and believing and trusting in him is all it takes! And it gets better! Jesus goes on to talk about the comfort of the Holy Spirit that is to be sent in place of him here on earth. Verses 16-19 say this; "And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever - the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live." Jesus' promise of the Holy Spirit is so darn comforting to me. He tells us all that it is a fact that he will come back, but until then we still have the Spirit in us to guide us! He also tells us in various places what we must do what he asks of us. In verses 25-26 Jesus says, "All this I have spoken while still with you. But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you." Chapter 15 verse 26 and 27 goes on to say this, "When the Counselor comes, whom I will send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who goes out from the Father, he will testify about me. And you also must testify, for you have been with me since the beginning." Jesus is telling us that we are responsible for the kingdom of God to advance. And to help us out and give us the right things to say, he has sent the Holy Spirit. In John chapter 16 Jesus teaches specifically about the Holy Spirit and the purpose of him being sent. verse 7; "But I tell you the truth: It is for your own good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Counselor will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you." Verse 8 gives us a little more detail about what we are to do with the Holy Spirit. "When he comes, he will convict the world of guilt in reguard to sin and righteousness and judgement." Verse 13 also helped me out a ton. "But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come." I know there are a lot of verses there, but each of those verses have really helped me when it comes to knowing what to do without the flesh of Jesus being in front of me. Knowing that he has not left me and has sent another Counselor in place is also very important to the trinity. The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are now all able to work as one, and guide each of us. (read John chapter 17 for more on the unity and how it relates to our walk with God. It's awesome!)
Recently, this has also helped me out. “Why were you searching for me?” he asked. “Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?” - Luke 2:49
Every one of us has a father here on earth. And every one of us at some point or another feels disconnected with our father. Some of us may have great relationships with out fathers, while others may have never met him. There are also those who rely on a respectable male figure in their life to serve as a father figure. Jesus was one of those children. Joseph, the husband of Mary and father to Jesus, isn't actually responsible for the birth of his son. God was. Jopeph did however did raise Jesus and guide him in the right direction at a young age. As time went on though, Jesus began to feel a disconnection with Joseph. I feel like every one of us can relate to that. As I was reading this verse an overwhelming sense of comfort came over me. God will always be the perfect father...no matter what. Don't get me wrong, I'm not bashing our earthly fathers. But in those moments when it's hard to find that fatherly connection it is really awesome to know that God is there, waiting for us to come to him. He won't steer us in the wrong direction, or tell us we aren't worthy of love.
I guess that's all I have for right now. Thanks for sticking to the end on this one, I know it was lengthy.
I was recently lead to Acts 17:24-31 while questioning why I couldn't have walked with Jesus. All of the verses really hit me but verses 26-28 really brought it home...especially 26 and 27. "From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. For in him we live and move and have our being. As some of your own poets have said, 'We are his offspring.' This really spoke to me. God put us here in this exact moment because it was the best time for us as individuals to love him to the best of our abilities. If God would have wanted me to live when Jesus walked the earth when his disciples did, he would have put me there. Instead, I am here today, living the life I'm in right now, with the family and friends I have right now, for a reason. It is the best time in God's plan for me to walk the earth. And I need to embrace that with everything I am. After all, Jesus' greatest command was to love him and love others. It's up to me to live that out, and now is the time to do it. My circumstances won't define me any longer. Instead, they will help shape me to become more reliant on my faith in the one who put me here.
The book of John has really been rocking my world as well. Jesus speaks some very powerful words to his disciples in chapters 14-16 as it relates to Jesus not being here in the flesh. Verses 1-3 say this, "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house there are many rooms; if it were not so, I would not have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you may also be where I am." As Jesus tells his disciples that when he leaves them he will prepare a place for them, they become confused. They think they need him there to find the way to God. But Jesus is telling them, that he is the way to God, and believing and trusting in him is all it takes! And it gets better! Jesus goes on to talk about the comfort of the Holy Spirit that is to be sent in place of him here on earth. Verses 16-19 say this; "And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever - the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live." Jesus' promise of the Holy Spirit is so darn comforting to me. He tells us all that it is a fact that he will come back, but until then we still have the Spirit in us to guide us! He also tells us in various places what we must do what he asks of us. In verses 25-26 Jesus says, "All this I have spoken while still with you. But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you." Chapter 15 verse 26 and 27 goes on to say this, "When the Counselor comes, whom I will send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who goes out from the Father, he will testify about me. And you also must testify, for you have been with me since the beginning." Jesus is telling us that we are responsible for the kingdom of God to advance. And to help us out and give us the right things to say, he has sent the Holy Spirit. In John chapter 16 Jesus teaches specifically about the Holy Spirit and the purpose of him being sent. verse 7; "But I tell you the truth: It is for your own good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Counselor will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you." Verse 8 gives us a little more detail about what we are to do with the Holy Spirit. "When he comes, he will convict the world of guilt in reguard to sin and righteousness and judgement." Verse 13 also helped me out a ton. "But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come." I know there are a lot of verses there, but each of those verses have really helped me when it comes to knowing what to do without the flesh of Jesus being in front of me. Knowing that he has not left me and has sent another Counselor in place is also very important to the trinity. The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are now all able to work as one, and guide each of us. (read John chapter 17 for more on the unity and how it relates to our walk with God. It's awesome!)
Recently, this has also helped me out. “Why were you searching for me?” he asked. “Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?” - Luke 2:49
Every one of us has a father here on earth. And every one of us at some point or another feels disconnected with our father. Some of us may have great relationships with out fathers, while others may have never met him. There are also those who rely on a respectable male figure in their life to serve as a father figure. Jesus was one of those children. Joseph, the husband of Mary and father to Jesus, isn't actually responsible for the birth of his son. God was. Jopeph did however did raise Jesus and guide him in the right direction at a young age. As time went on though, Jesus began to feel a disconnection with Joseph. I feel like every one of us can relate to that. As I was reading this verse an overwhelming sense of comfort came over me. God will always be the perfect father...no matter what. Don't get me wrong, I'm not bashing our earthly fathers. But in those moments when it's hard to find that fatherly connection it is really awesome to know that God is there, waiting for us to come to him. He won't steer us in the wrong direction, or tell us we aren't worthy of love.
I guess that's all I have for right now. Thanks for sticking to the end on this one, I know it was lengthy.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Love takes Time
I wonder if God gave us time so we can appreciate eternity more? A lot of us question our existence often. It seems weird that we are just here with all this stuff surrounding us. How did it get here? Why are we here to experience it? What's the point? And after many years of thinking, the idea that God gave us this time here on Earth to appreciate eternity more makes the most sense to me. Let me further explain.
God could have easily created us to live with Him immediately. But what would have been the point of that? He created us out of love, and in order for us to love Him back, we must have a choice. We can't be forced to love Him any more than we can be forced to love one another. He gave us free will for a reason. If we have to choose love Him, then we first must experience love for ourselves. This is where I think our time on Earth comes into play. After a lot of questions and some research, I've found that one of the main things that separates Earth from Heaven is time. (there are different types of "time", but we don't experience all the different types in Heaven.) We experience Heaven after we die, for eternity. But we first must live here and die in order to experience that. If that is the case, then time we spend here is unique to Earth.
On a different, yet similar note, if the time we experience here is unique to Earth, it would also mean that love has to have time first in order to really exist. Love doesn't end when we die, but it sure can't begin unless we live. As a baby, I didn't come out of the womb with clapping hands singing praise and love songs to Jesus. I had to first learn love through the actions of my parents. The cool thing is, the love I was being taught by my parents is the same love they were taught from their parents and so on. What an exciting cycle of love! But that cycle had to begin somewhere. The Bible tell us, that cycle began with Adam and Eve. In the first few chapters of Genesis, God shows Adam and Even what love should consist of. But Adam and Eve had to learn it for themselves! They didn't listen to God, and God became angry at them. The good news is that we have a compassionate God, and He forgave them. Through that mercy and forgiveness, Adam and Eve learned that God will love them no matter what. That is love. But it didn't happen right away. It took Adam and Eve time to learn this. And now years later, we are learning that same love. Love has never changed since the beginning of time.
The problem is that our culture has changed dramatically over time. Every one of us is influenced by our surroundings, and over time those influences change the way we look at things. Unfortunately, the American culture has become more and more dependant on media, and as time carries on, the idea of love has become a constant victim. So often we hear young kids throwing the word "love" around without actually meaning it. They see teens on TV that after 2 hours of knowing one another, are madly in love. Then something happens like another girl or guy getting in the way, or a simple fight, and all of a sudden those teens have "fallen out of love". Watching shows like that presents a completely false and negative depiction of what love really is. Even if a parent explains to the child what they just saw is wrong, the fact that the idea is still in that child's head is a big problem. Most teens don't listen to their parents, so instead they decide to enter relationships at very early ages, throw the word "love" around after a day or so, and then get ridiculously hurt when it doesn't work out. God has showed us time and time again, that love should not end, ever. These shows tell kids otherwise. Is that really what we want to be teaching our children? Sometimes, we don't have a choice because of how dependant we are on media. This is why it is so important to teach our children love at an early age as it aligns with God's ideas, not our cultures. I feel like the divorce rate wouldn't dramatically decline if we focused more on teaching our children about God instead of letting the TV become a babysitter/educator. Love wouldn't have an option to become a victim because those values are already set before entering into situations where controlling the amount of media intake is harder. Lets stop making love a victim, and let God show us how to live.
God could have easily created us to live with Him immediately. But what would have been the point of that? He created us out of love, and in order for us to love Him back, we must have a choice. We can't be forced to love Him any more than we can be forced to love one another. He gave us free will for a reason. If we have to choose love Him, then we first must experience love for ourselves. This is where I think our time on Earth comes into play. After a lot of questions and some research, I've found that one of the main things that separates Earth from Heaven is time. (there are different types of "time", but we don't experience all the different types in Heaven.) We experience Heaven after we die, for eternity. But we first must live here and die in order to experience that. If that is the case, then time we spend here is unique to Earth.
On a different, yet similar note, if the time we experience here is unique to Earth, it would also mean that love has to have time first in order to really exist. Love doesn't end when we die, but it sure can't begin unless we live. As a baby, I didn't come out of the womb with clapping hands singing praise and love songs to Jesus. I had to first learn love through the actions of my parents. The cool thing is, the love I was being taught by my parents is the same love they were taught from their parents and so on. What an exciting cycle of love! But that cycle had to begin somewhere. The Bible tell us, that cycle began with Adam and Eve. In the first few chapters of Genesis, God shows Adam and Even what love should consist of. But Adam and Eve had to learn it for themselves! They didn't listen to God, and God became angry at them. The good news is that we have a compassionate God, and He forgave them. Through that mercy and forgiveness, Adam and Eve learned that God will love them no matter what. That is love. But it didn't happen right away. It took Adam and Eve time to learn this. And now years later, we are learning that same love. Love has never changed since the beginning of time.
The problem is that our culture has changed dramatically over time. Every one of us is influenced by our surroundings, and over time those influences change the way we look at things. Unfortunately, the American culture has become more and more dependant on media, and as time carries on, the idea of love has become a constant victim. So often we hear young kids throwing the word "love" around without actually meaning it. They see teens on TV that after 2 hours of knowing one another, are madly in love. Then something happens like another girl or guy getting in the way, or a simple fight, and all of a sudden those teens have "fallen out of love". Watching shows like that presents a completely false and negative depiction of what love really is. Even if a parent explains to the child what they just saw is wrong, the fact that the idea is still in that child's head is a big problem. Most teens don't listen to their parents, so instead they decide to enter relationships at very early ages, throw the word "love" around after a day or so, and then get ridiculously hurt when it doesn't work out. God has showed us time and time again, that love should not end, ever. These shows tell kids otherwise. Is that really what we want to be teaching our children? Sometimes, we don't have a choice because of how dependant we are on media. This is why it is so important to teach our children love at an early age as it aligns with God's ideas, not our cultures. I feel like the divorce rate wouldn't dramatically decline if we focused more on teaching our children about God instead of letting the TV become a babysitter/educator. Love wouldn't have an option to become a victim because those values are already set before entering into situations where controlling the amount of media intake is harder. Lets stop making love a victim, and let God show us how to live.
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