An update on life

As the months continue to pass since my graduation from Mercy Ministries, I grow continually thankful for the new life I was given through the grace of Jesus. As I've mentioned before, I was blessed to have the opportunity to move in with my sister and her family after I graduated. The purpose of this was to allow them to keep me accountable for my actions so I didn't slip back into my old habits. There have been a few close calls, but I've grown to trust them to not let me slip. They have helped me gain confidence in myself and learn how to live a drug free life. They've also helped me become a stronger person. I've had some major ups and downs since I've been back home and they saw me through each and every one...even when I became difficult. I don't have the words to express my gratitude.

Recently I put in an application so that I can move out on my own. This is definitely terrifying, but it's the next step in the process to independence. Part of me doesn't feel ready, but the other part of me feels ready to move forward and begin a life of independence and adulthood. They have been preparing me for this time since I got back. As the move out date becomes closer, reality has started to sink in. But I've become more excited about the idea of being on my own. The point of saying all this is that I've realized a very important lesson through all this.

Independence is learned through dependence. I know this idea doesn't seem that profound, but for me it's become mind blowing. Because I've never known a life without being dependent on someone, I've never been able to fully experience independence. But as I've grown in the last year, I've learned a few things about independence. The biggest thing I've learned is that when a person becomes comfortable with depending on people, it's time to make a step towards independence. This is true in all stages of life. It's a learning experience for sure. But I've learned that since I've become dependent on living with my sister it's time to take the next step. For example, with my budgeting I've become too comfortable in allowing them to keep me accountable. So here and there I'll spend more money than I know I should because in the back of my mind I know that the rent they are charging me will allow me to afford this splurge. Unfortunately when I move, I won't have that kind of money to blow. To me, this is an indicator that I need to take the next step so I can keep learning how to better budget on my own without their help. This is true when it comes to time management. and other responsibilities as well. I'm finally reaching a point in my journey that indicates it's time for me to move on.

So as I wait for the call from the apartment saying I can move, I will continue to allow myself to learn. I still make mistakes, so in those instances I know that I can still reply on the help that's been provided. But I will continue to try my best and keep pushing myself.