In my opinion, love is probably the greatest thing any person can experience. But if we're being completely honest, I'm not a fan of love that comes easy. My favorite kind of love is the love that is worth fighting for. All of you that know me, also know that I love Starbucks coffee. That beautiful bean knows how to get my heart beating...and not because of the massive amounts of caffeine in each glorious cup. Every sip produces a carnival of flavors in my mouth that make me want to drop everything I'm doing just so I can focus my full attention on such a wonderful creation! But sadly, my love for Starbucks ends there. Starbucks coffee does not love me back. So I guess the question could be raised...do I really "love" Starbucks? The technical, and sad answer, is no. I think that love is two way street. I'm also going to be bold and say that I think all real love can only be fully experienced if it has been fought for.
The idea was recently brought to my attention that love is not an emotion, it is something that comes from experiencing our emotions. Taking that into consideration, just because I tell you that you make me really happy and things of that nature does not necessarily mean that I love you. On the opposite end, just because I tell you I'm angry with you, does not mean I hate you. Love is a bond between two people that is experienced differently for each individual. But I think it's safe to say, that each loving relationship takes work, time, and a lot of effort. I don't automatically love a person the first or second time I've met with them. I may like them, but chances are in those first few meetings the other person didn't do something to offend me. I've actually noticed that when I have a conflict with a person it becomes easier to love them. It gives me the opportunity to understand where that person is coming from and form genuine feelings for who that person is and what that person stands for.
Take my dad for example. That man makes me SO angry sometimes, but experiencing that anger with him also gives me the chance to make amends, find out better ways to communicate with him, and pushes me to find a way to connect with him in a way that makes him feel loved. The same goes for him when I make him angry. Through the process of conflict, we find ourselves and become vulnerable to others around us, giving them the opportunity to really and truly love us. If we all went through life and only let people see the "good side", then once that person says the words "I love you" how can you be sure. Does that person really love you, or do they love the person your facade lets them see? But, what if instead, we let everyone see the real us. The sinful, mean, angry, prideful, lust driven, hate filled people we are? After all, doesn't every one of us feel these things at one point or another in our lives? If so, then why are we hiding behind what we can all see past anyways? Isn't hiding behind a glass door kind of pointless? I think I'd much rather someone see the real me, instead of this fake picture I want to be. Actually, i think if I were to walk around as the fake me I would make it impossible to truly be loved, or feel love for myself. If we can't be honest with our own self, then how the heck are we gonna be honest with someone we desire to be close with? So as for me, I'm gonna continue to be ME...the sinful Sarah Giese that tries her hardest to love people...the dirty people we ALL are, and not just be a somebody that has the ability to say the word "love" to someone.
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